Persuasion and influence are both leadership skills, but persuasion is not the same thing as influence.
Convincing someone to do what you want them to do is persuasion.
On the other hand, influence is part of your identity. Influence is your presence. Influence is a part of who you are.
When you are being truly influential with people, you achieve a state known as conversion, rather than compliance.
In the Code of Influence, Paul Mascetta defines these states as:
“COMPLIANCE is when someone does what you want them to but you haven’t necessarily affected their belief system. What you’ve affected is their thought process. In other words, you’ve gotten them to act in way that they may not necessarily agree with deep down inside. They may just comply because outside factors like social norms or immense short terms rewards.”
“CONVERSION is much more powerful. Conversion is when you completely change someone’s belief system. When you can do that, they’ll fully buy into your message. When they fully buy into your message, they’ll follow you even without you saying anything. You become more of a symbol for what they agree with and identify with. You, in essence, begin to share an identity with them.”
Leadership Skills and Conversion
When conversion happens, you’ll find you have a much greater ability to:
- Create healthier, more fulfilling relationships
- Make more money
- Have people agree with you
- Gain more overall control over your life
Persuasion is a very important part of influence. And persuasion is ultimately all about a result, which is otherwise known as getting your audience to do what you want them to do.
The result of compliance is often dependent on the relationship.
As an example, persuading your friend to go to the restaurant of your choice can be very different from persuading your child to do their homework.
Here are 8 simple steps to persuasion:
All of our decisions are made to either avoid pain or gain pleasure. But statistically, people will actually do more to avoid pain than they will to gain pleasure.
If you can identify a problem, or more importantly, a desire to avoid a problem by your target, you are well on your way to positioning yourself to persuading them.
2. Identify The Consequence Of The Problem
Once you as the leader have identified the unwanted issue in their life, you now show your target how not taking the action to correct this issue will result in more pain for them.
Ultimately, you’re selling a solution. But sometimes you can’t do that unless the person knows that they have a problem. So the first step is showing them their problem.
3. Identify The Chosen Solution
Here, you simply have your target select the outcome that they think will solve their problem.
The best way to do this is by asking questions like, “What do you think would fix this?” “What would be the ideal outcome for you?” or “What would you prefer?”
4. Identify The Consequences Of The Solution
It’s very important that your target accepts and understands every aspect of the new outcome and fully supports it. If they don’t, they will blame you the moment things don’t work out as planned (if that happens).
5. Check For Confirmation
Make sure that the chosen outcome is something that your target truly wants. It will not help if they are not truthful; either to themselves or with you.
Gaining compliance and gaining pacification are two different things. Make sure your target is not telling you what you want to hear just for the sake of not being combative.
It will never do you any good to provide quick fix solutions or short-term answers to your target’s problems.
Make sure that any solution that you provide will provide long-lasting results. This will not only make them happy, but will lead to more opportunities for you to influence and do more business with them.
7. Reserve Judgment
If the target makes a suggestion or answers a question appropriately, don’t pass judgment on them. Everyone views the world in a different way and sometimes, someone’s perception might be different than yours, which will make it hard for you to comprehend why they would have a certain opinion on a particular subject matter.
Invest the time and energy to understand your targets values, beliefs, and outlooks on life. It will not only better equip you to persuade them, but they will take notice to the fact that you have invested in getting to know them.
8. Never Correct Your Target
Often times your target may make statements that are false, untrue or downright incorrect. If you experience a situation where this is happening, it’s never a good idea to tell them that they’re wrong or try to correct them.
When you do, their defense mechanisms automatically take effect. Then, instead of listening to you or becoming susceptible to persuasion, they are too busy defending their thoughts and points of view. This not only makes them difficult to persuade, but it also causes them to question their relationship with you.
How Do You Persuade and Influence?
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